he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
