had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
