is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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