i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
