Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
