I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
