Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize