I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
