Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize