Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
