hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
