Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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