Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you