Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
wat bout pragnant strippers??
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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