My hand turned me down
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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