She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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