When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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