worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
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I just found a bag of teeth...
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
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as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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