One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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