Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
