Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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