I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
