no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
