I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
