Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
