then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
that is very illegal...i love you.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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