I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
is wine microwaveable?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
