i love accidental penises.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize