is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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