I'm really into asian looking animals
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
