I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
