You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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