I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
