she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
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I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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