Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard

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  (703): Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life (541): Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard http://tfl.nu/54p5
  Replies (27) Good night (2853) Bad night (6448)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"

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  (860): she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner" http://tfl.nu/hbdd
  Replies (38) Good night (5869) Bad night (625)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.

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  (832): Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse. http://tfl.nu/qyce
  Replies (4) Good night (807) Bad night (2978)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk

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  (715): its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk http://tfl.nu/cy8n
  Replies (8) Good night (3965) Bad night (999)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'

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  (503): some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?' http://tfl.nu/rnao
  Replies (12) Good night (3876) Bad night (1086)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays

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  (913): Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays http://tfl.nu/wo2m
  Replies (3) Good night (933) Bad night (1115)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.

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  (603): what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back. http://tfl.nu/v7kr
  Replies (4) Good night (629) Bad night (1647)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield

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  (401): She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield http://tfl.nu/quct
  Replies (5) Good night (1210) Bad night (614)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck

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  (512): scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck http://tfl.nu/04pl
  Replies (6) Good night (2449) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go

  (319): View more from Iowa

  IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS

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  (906): cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go (319): IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS http://tfl.nu/nt8z
  Replies (10) Good night (1056) Bad night (1944)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed

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  (734): I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed http://tfl.nu/ut1d
  Replies (3) Good night (970) Bad night (501)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?

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  (902): There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3? http://tfl.nu/qguc
  Replies (6) Good night (1495) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?

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  (412): What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it? http://tfl.nu/fsay
  Replies (9) Good night (522) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.

  (419): View more from Ohio

  You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!

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  (630): I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend. (419): You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED! http://tfl.nu/6dil
  Replies (3) Good night (756) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.

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  (520): Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband. http://tfl.nu/8kmu
  Replies (2) Good night (302) Bad night (630)

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