The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
