ADVERTISEMENT

• (510): View more from California

  I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.

  (1-510): View more from California

  It was probably Jesus.

  (510): View more from California

  I feel like he would have left a message.

  Fav 36 4793 1152

  share tweet
  

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I had another sleeping on concrete incident.

  Fav 10 3297 1557

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (614): View more from Ohio

  Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out

  (574): View more from Indiana

  You never cease to amaze me.

  Fav 18 5622 1111

  share tweet
  

• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests

  Fav 15 1262 3939

  share tweet
  
• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (310): View more from California

  i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic

  Fav 5 3356 1225

  share tweet
  

• (702): View more from Nevada

  I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.

  Fav 13 4548 1532

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (906): View more from Michigan

  You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"

  Fav 10 2858 910

  share tweet
  

• (540): View more from Virginia

  (540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?

  Fav 4 1125 810

  share tweet
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.

  Fav 0 685 1102

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud

  Fav 4 1183 512

  share tweet
  

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.

  Fav 4 598 823

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (765): View more from Indiana

  I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.

  Fav 5 477 179

  share tweet
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm on the fast track to lesbian land

  Fav 1 167 91

  share tweet
  

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail

  Fav 1 46 6

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (630): View more from Illinois

  I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.

  Fav 1 49 12

  share tweet
  

Randomize