Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  he wasnt completely random

  (914): View more from New York

  you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i get things done.

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  (201): he wasnt completely random (914): you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont (201): i get things done. http://tfl.nu/5ew9
  Replies (14) Good night (1389) Bad night (604)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.

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  (920): I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with. http://tfl.nu/q53z
  Replies (29) Good night (1572) Bad night (1941)
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  (+93): View more from

  woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!

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  (+93): woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge! http://tfl.nu/6tpc
  Replies (22) Good night (673) Bad night (2283)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.

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  (617): I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation. http://tfl.nu/k6x3
  Replies (35) Good night (6230) Bad night (1063)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.

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  (651): She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three. http://tfl.nu/b36h
  Replies (17) Good night (836) Bad night (5199)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.

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  (540): Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later. http://tfl.nu/bbcr
  Replies (9) Good night (4616) Bad night (948)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.

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  (847): Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do. http://tfl.nu/qkwv
  Replies (16) Good night (983) Bad night (3721)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.

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  (810): You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight. http://tfl.nu/18uj
  Replies (4) Good night (3456) Bad night (933)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.

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  (402): found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman. http://tfl.nu/nx72
  Replies (7) Good night (2472) Bad night (532)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.

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  (416): I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined. http://tfl.nu/slim
  Replies (8) Good night (1534) Bad night (497)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.

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  (303): They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar. http://tfl.nu/u9wl
  Replies (2) Good night (366) Bad night (754)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.

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  (701): I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here. http://tfl.nu/4omy
  Replies (1) Good night (435) Bad night (283)
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  (914): View more from New York

  So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..

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  (914): So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me.. http://tfl.nu/9pe5
  Replies (0) Good night (500) Bad night (345)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.

  (716): View more from New York

  The apple don't fall far from that tree.

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  (704): My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator. (716): The apple don't fall far from that tree. http://tfl.nu/rljy
  Replies (4) Good night (772) Bad night (324)
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  (315): View more from New York

  He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick

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  (315): He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick http://tfl.nu/ogpi
  Replies (5) Good night (281) Bad night (459)

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