on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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