Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.

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(313): Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing. http://tfl.nu/gu31

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(415): View more from California

shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.

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(415): shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does. http://tfl.nu/rw4v

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour

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(978): u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour http://tfl.nu/oz5v

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(860): View more from Connecticut

So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.

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(860): So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever. http://tfl.nu/64bh

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(618): View more from Illinois

he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.

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(618): he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him. http://tfl.nu/b942

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(937): View more from Ohio

Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover

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(937): Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover http://tfl.nu/h2d8

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(910): View more from North Carolina

You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"

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(910): You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?" http://tfl.nu/kb6v

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(818): View more from California

I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.

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(818): I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine. http://tfl.nu/w2qh

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(703): View more from Virginia

Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix

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(703): Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix http://tfl.nu/hs2f

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(407): View more from Florida

My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.

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(407): My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now. http://tfl.nu/oxop

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"

(601): View more from Mississippi

Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.

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(601): I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?" (601): Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success. http://tfl.nu/blht

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(248): View more from Michigan

We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.

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(248): We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on. http://tfl.nu/3utl

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(602): View more from Arizona

The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!

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(602): The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night! http://tfl.nu/j1nh

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(630): View more from Illinois

I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.

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(630): I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive. http://tfl.nu/thwy

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(407): View more from Florida

He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas

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(407): He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas http://tfl.nu/zvf4

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