Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
