so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I need a beard to bite.
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