hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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