No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
