i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize