I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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