Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
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