Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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