So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
