after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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