Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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