i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
