i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
