If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
