Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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