he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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