my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
