tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize