Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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