Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
