Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
