My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
