just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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