are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
