so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
