I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
