Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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