It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
