I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
