There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
