Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
My bed smells like the plague
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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